Dear Button,

Today is the first of November. It is your first November, your 12th day of life, and you had your first Halloween. You slept through it last night, but Clementine and I dressed up and gave out candy to the visitors.

I may look cute, but I am not amused.

Right now you are nestled with me on the Moby wrap. You have just fed so Mommy and Boo are in bed trying to get some before-midnight sleep. Grammy Diann and Grandpa Chuck are in bed now, too. I’m going to finish this and work on some AP Statistics. This is the end of week #2 of my paternity…4 weeks left. This has been a wonderful little love nest we’ve made together just taking care of you with an occasional outing. Your needs are so few but very frequent and specific. We’re also trying to give you some tummy time and skin to skin time every day.

Our little family with all the grandparents.

Halloween 2013. We had many neighborhood kids stop by…ghosts, cartoon characters, LEGO characters, a “smarty pants” (he had Smarties candies taped to his trousers) and a Daft Punk pair.

Love, Daddy

Good Morning Munchkin!

Today is the day when BOTH sets of your grandparents arrive. Nana and PopPop have been here since Saturday watching you grow. Grammy Diann and Grandpa Chuck get her later today.

Our first outing as a whole family…the Ballard Market. Noah was our checker!

You are a healthy eater; Mommy is having trouble keeping up with you. Last night she was about to throw the breastpump at the wall; it wasn’t pumping properly. Mommy thought it was that the many parts had to be thoroughly dried in order to pump. It turned out it was just one tube that wasn’t fully inserted into the machine. When I found it and pushed it in, she felt a lot better. That’s how it is these days…..Mommy is quite a bit on edge. I’m doing what I can, but since I’m only the Daddy, there are limitations to what I can do to help you (and Mommy) feel comfortable. You eat every 3ish hours, fuss and cry when you get changed, fuss and cry when we try to put you down at night, and have your eyes open for about 1 hour total every day.

But, you are entirely adorable. I think that’s why babies are designed to be soooo cute when they’re infants….so their parents aren’t tempted to yell at them. That will happen later 🙂

You and your Nana.

Happy 8-day existence, little Button. Right now, you are nestled in between me and the moby wrap, sawing logs and wriggling every couple of minutes. I’m trying to get Mommy some quality sleep time before the middle of the night change-cry-feed-burp-cry-soothe-lay down-cry-pick up and soothe again-cry- etc routine begins. But…..you are so stinkin’ adorable I am finding it hard to take my eyes off you. I try to give you some skin to skin Daddy time every day. I can hear you breathe in my ear, feel you wriggle as you discover your nervous system and what it can do, and meet your eyes when they are open.

Today we went back to the pediatrician for your 1-week weighing and you are nearly back to your 8lb-6oz birth weight. We’re having trouble keeping you fed and satisfied. We aren’t sure why you fuss an hour after feeding…..but it seems like you are hungry so we’ve been instructed to feed you. I’ve been able to get in on the feeding when I give you some milk through a syringe taped to my pinky finger. It has been a fun experience “feeding” you but we hope that soon Mommy will be able to supply it all for you.

syringe picture

Let’s continue the miraculous story of your birth, shall we? 🙂

9:00 am, Mommy was dilated to 9.5 cm and she was starting to feel, “some pressure.”

10:50 they started Mommy on antibiotics because her water broke more than 12 hours prior

11:15 Mommy is feeling more pressure and is finally dilated to a 10! Dr. Smith said pushing would probably start in about one more hour

11:40 Nurse Laura started putting out the surgical tray with shiny instruments (scissors, tweezers, clamps) on the blue sterile cloth placemat.

12:00 Nurse Laura explained the pushing phase. Mommy was very concerned that she would poop during birth. “I don’t poop in front of my husband,” she said. There have been few things Mommy has said that I have chalked up to the irrationality of the hormones in her…this is one of them. Mommy was very civil and rational before you were born…..these days, thought, with the lack of sleep, she’s given me some glares that really make me thing she’s possessed. I guess I should be thankful that she didn’t scream, “You did this to me!” during delivery.

1:20 the pushing begins, chin down and eyes tight with a big ab crunch when a contraction starts. They were coming about every 4-5 minutes. Aunt Ka and I were helping you pull your knees up to push because you couldn’t feel them at this time. We could see the top of your head and you were moving slowly out with each push. It was fascinatingly sick. Sorry, but Mommy wouldn’t let me take pictures. Here’s a picture of Clementine instead.

1:55 Dr. Smith came in and started to put on the tie in the back blue gown of surgery. Even at this moment, they were studying Mommy’s contractions and your heart rate. Because your heart rate was dipping with every contraction, along with Mommy’s marathon early labor experience, there was still a possibility the you might have to come out via C-section.

At 2:10, Dr. Smith said there wasn’t much more pushing Mommy could do before they went the C-section option. Then she got out the suction. Let’s see if I can find a picture of it.

a suction device for giving birth

That circular part was lubed up and then stuck inside Mommy’s cooch onto the part of your head we could see. Then Dr. Smith used the hand pump to establish a vacuum on top of your head, then, when Mommy was in the middle of a contraction/push of her life, she PULLED ON THE CORD ATTACHED TO YOUR HEAD LIKE SHE WAS TRYING TO START A LAWNMOWER. I was fascinated, scared to death, and freaked out all at the same time as I saw your head plates overlap each other to make way for your head. Your head was out. And then it got tense.

Because of your positioning, your shoulder was stuck. It is called shoulder distocia and it is very serious because the circulation to your head is cut off when you head is “out” but your body is still “in.” What happened next passed by so fast I could only focus on what Dr. Smith was doing. I could see her twisting your head trying to give your body space to emerge but you weren’t budging. She yelled something and at least 5 other nurses exploded onto the scene. They were yelling things like, “start the timer,” “call NICU,” “NICU called,” and yelling “push.” I saw Mommy’s face….a confused look not knowing if they wanted her to push. There were other nurses pushing on her belly. I made eye contact with Mommy and she mouthed, “Is everything ok?” Not knowing if things were ok, I simply gave her my best calm look and mouthed, “it’s ok.” Then I glanced back to Dr. Smith who had finally wriggled you…..all of you…..out. I looked you up and down, noticed that you were a girl, listened long enough for someone to call “52 seconds” and everyone cheer. That was enough for me to take a deep breath and announce, “It’s a girl!”

The NICU call was cancelled, your umbilical cord was cut from Mommy where you were taken over to the heat lamp tray to examine you. When you started crying your sweet feminine bellow that Mommy and I now know so well, I breathed a sigh of relief, kissed Mommy on her forehead, and went over to meet you.

After a very short time of taking your measurements, clearing your lungs, hooking you up to an IV on your hand (because Mommy had a temperature and infection during labor) and examining you for any trauma from the vacuum or birth, you were presented to Mommy skin-to-skin where she presently wept and laughed a the same time. While Dr. Smith was waiting for your placenta to be released, she asked Mommy what your name was. Mommy could only shout, “David?” to which I replied, Crosby Anne! On this blog we will have other names for you to hide your identity from the Emperor (I’m a Star Wars fan)

There’s more to come, but the future stories will have more of you in them. Here’s a picture of your placenta, the organ that serves as the conduit of nutrients, waste, and life blood between you and Mommy. Mommy’s trainer wanted to see a picture of it because, months ago when Mommy was working out with her, she predicted that she’d have a healthy placenta because she could see the fighter in her. Being the chronicler, I got two shots of it.

You are starting to whimper now…..I bet you’re hungry. It has been about 3 hours since you last fed…..the Seahawks were fending off the St. Louis Rams on Monday Night Football. Thanks for being so quiet so I could finish this recounting of our journey to finally meet you, Little Button.

Love, Daddy

Happy 1st week anniversary, Button!

I changed my facebook profile picture to this this week.

Mommy is in the bedroom nursing you right now. I’m hanging out until you’re done to change and soothe you before we try to get you to sleep for another 2-ish hours. That’s how our first week together has gone…..planning around your feeding schedule, charting your diapers, and entertaining visitors who are wanting to meet you.

The last time I checked in, we were spending the day at home after being turned away by the hospital on Saturday. Mommy was given a morphine sleep to give her some rest from the pain but to keep the contractions happening in hopes that she would dilate enough to be admitted. Well…..she woke up from the sleep around noon on Saturday and spent the afternoon and evening in a post-morphine stupor with contractions. We finally returned to the hospital around 8:30 on Saturday night. 

When we returned to OB Triage and Mommy was getting into the rear-closure hospital gown, she thought her water had broke. There was something wet down there. It turned out it was her mucous plug, the snot-like collection that plugs up her uterus; losing it is a sign that labor is near and the water is about to break. 

When Mommy was measured, and the nurse said “five,” we all cheered, hoping that it would all be over soon. But we were in for a long night.

Saturday night was rather stressful. Mommy had an epidural injection to numb the pain at 11pm, but the cervix was taking much longer to finish dilating than normal. Typically, once a mommy gets to 5, it takes about 1-2 hours to dilate another centimeter. So when Mommy was at 5 at 9pm, we were hoping she’d be ready to push by early morning. Unfortunately, she was 6cm at 2am and 7cm at 5am. It was excruciating! Auntie Ka and I took turns sleeping on the comfy part of the couch while Mommy was in bed waiting. During one of my sleep shifts I had the Ham Burrito Dream:

 I was in the birthing room with my wife, 1 nurse, and sister-in-law Ka. We were all discussion the best possible decisions for mother and child. Another nurse entered with a plate full of food….it was a ham and egg burrito with a side of tater tots…..because I’d been eating trail mix and power bars for half a day I was very interested in it. But the nurse explained that it was for Ka and not for me because my wife signed to have Ka be the one to adminster CPR if something happened to Wifey. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and felt left out…..how could she do this to me? I woke up feeling replaced and low. Interpretation: My wife was in labor and there was NOTHING I could do to help her feel better, help the baby descend, or help labor progress. I think it was a typical male feeling….especially in the delivery room…..helpless. Males are not invited to the sisterhood ham burrito parties because they’re male, they don’t know their bodies as well, and they can’t have babies.

Mommy in the delivery room, waiting.

Around 5am was when we had the “C-section talk,” from the nurse. Mommy’s contractions were strong, you were turning and placing yourself in the proper birth delivery position, but Mommy had been in labor for so long, we weren’t sure she’d have the energy to push you out.

Next chapter…..a drawing of Mommy and all the tubes she had in her, and the miraculous story of your birth!

Love, Daddy

Dear Lucky,

Once upon a time, there was a Mommy, Daddy, a dog named Clementine, and a little baby named Lucky. The baby was named Lucky because it was something the Mommy and Daddy always wanted, and were surprised when she sent word she was planning on making an entrance. They didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl.

Until one day……..She was born! Her birthdate was October 20, 2013, which happened to be her parent’s 1st Wedding Anniversary! She weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces and was 21 inches long. She was an adorable baby. Here’s a picture of her within 5 minutes of her birth and us as a new family.

The story of Mommy’s labor to help you make your magnificent entrance was an interesting one that lasted more than 2 days. Mommy was also magnificent, staying focused and centered on having you.

On Friday around 5pm, Mommy started having some mild contractions which she knew were the early signs of labor. I fixed dinner for us (a salad with tuna) and we waited.

About 11pm, Mommy’s contractions became pretty regular and we knew that you were beginning your descent. She sat on the physioball rolling around trying to stay comfy and breathe through the movements, and I laid down on the floor in the family room with her getting some rest. We knew that we’d probably go to the hospital sometime in the night.

At 2am Mommy woke me up. Her contractions were about a minute each and 8-10 minutes apart. We called the doctor who told us to hang out for a while and continue to monitor. At 4am we went to the hospital and met Aunt Ka there. The OB Triage nurses hooked up Mommy to a monitor and checked her….you looked great but Mommy was dilated to 1. In order to be admitted, she needed to be at least 4-5. So…..we walked around the hospital for an hour, pausing for Mommy to lean on a handrail and endure another painful contraction.

Mommy at the skybridge in the hospital going through a contraction.

When we returned to OB Triage, Mommy’s contractions were frequent, but she was still 1cm dilated. We were aggravated because we wanted to avoid being turned down at the hospital until the Mommy is further along.

Because Mommy so distressed, she was given a “morphine sleep” that allowed her to get some rest at home while her contractions continued but the pain wouldn’t wake her up. We went to Aunt Ka’s house on Queen Anne to rest from 8-11am.

Saturday afternoon, Mommy was in a morphine fog, feeling the contractions and falling asleep sitting up between them. I know she wouldn’t approve of these pictures being public, so I want  you to remember the joy in our faces in the upcoming pictures, ok?

At 2pm we decided to go back to our house to chill and allow Mommy’s cervix to catch up. It was at this time that I understood why it is called, “LABOR.”  We were thoroughly convinced that we would welcome you into the world within a couple of hours. It ended up being much longer of a wait than we anticipated.

In the next chapter, I’ll recount the journey back to the hospital and the long and painful Saturday night in the delivery room.

Love, Daddy

Hey Lucky!

Mommy is starting to make noises with her contractions. They’re lasting about 40 seconds still but are now a bit more painful. I can hear it in her breathing and little verbal moans. Aunt Linda has come and picked up Clementine. The Boo Bag has enough for her to last at Aunt Linda’s for a couple of days.

It is now 11:15 pm. We watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and are now going to try to get a little sleep because it might be a long night.

7:50 am Friday

Good Morning, Lucky!

You are one day from your due date and Mommy and I are getting a little jittery. During the night, Mommy had some contractions, but they weren’t close enough together to be considered labor contractions, so I’m at work now and Mommy is at home. It is a teacher work day at school today so it isn’t as frantic as a day that has students.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mommy is at home, probably playing Boggle on her iPad and having the contraction time app she just downloaded ready to start at any time. I have my phone with me and volume turned up to the max for when Mommy calls, but you might not be ready to come out for a couple more days.

It is time for a meeting…check in later.

8:00 pm Friday

I’m back. Mommy is in the tub relaxing and soaking. She’s been having mild 40-second long contractions for a while, but they aren’t quite repeated enough to be considered early labor. When she gets them she turns on the timer in her iPad, sways back and forth, breathing controlled in and out, until they pass. Earlier in the day, she made oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookies and has instructed me to bring them to the nurses when we go to the hospital. It may not be tonight, but I have a feeling we’ll be holding you by the end of the weekend.

Perhaps our final dinner before we meet you. Can you find Clementine?

Tuna salad with a plethora of accessories and flavors.

Happy Week 39, 7 pound mini watermelon!

So much to report about you and our lives together. Mommy had an OB appointment today and she is now 1 cm dilated, which is SOME sign of progress. The unfortuntate part is that you could come within hours or weeks. I’m excited to meet you; I’m just seeing Mommy very uncomfortable so I’d like her to feel better.

When Mommy visits the OB now, twice a week, she has to do her “routine,” which consists of a urine test and a weighing. She has been fine with finishing the routine except now that she can’t see where her pee comes out, and they give her a small Dixie cup, that she dribbles when she leaves her specimen. She’s tried to tell the receptionists and nurses that their routine needs to supply some women with bigger cups.

This weekend, on October 20th, Mommy and I will mark our first wedding anniversary! I wrote Mommy a love sonnet for the “paper” anniversary. I haven’t written a sonnet in a long time so it took some time to get it the way I wanted it. It was presented to Mommy on Saturday (1 week early) with a dozen roses. Unfortunately, I gave away our long-stemmed rose vase to Goodwill (I swear I didn’t do it but I can’t find it so it must have happened during one of my summer cleaning rampages), so I had to run with Clementine to QFC to pick up a new one. Mommy is in enough of a late term pregnancy stupor that she has forgotten about it.

Both your Grandmothers are checking in about every day now, wanting to hear of any progress. Grammy Nell is on the mend.

When I got home with Boo after our walk this evening, Mommy informed us that her mucus plug had come out. That is a good sign! The mucous plug is a snot-like membrane that serves as a stopper into Mommy so you don’t fall out! Losing the plug is another sign that you are on your way out very soon.

Mommy spent a long day at work along with a trip to the OB to do her “routine” and a stress test, so she wasn’t in the mood to fix anything for dinner. I took it on and prepared a creamy quinoa primavera with chicken.

I have a feeling we’ll be meeting you very soon, Lucky. Then you’ll have a new name. Rest well and see you soon.

Love, Daddy

Hi Lucky!

It is homecoming week at school. Monday was Lazy Day, Tuesday Disney Day, Today was Superhero Day, tomorrow is Pink out Day, and Friday Spirit Day so we wear our green and gold school colors. The faculty are rehearsing for the annual faculty lip sync performed at the Homecoming Assembly.

I had a former student set up an Ask-to-Homecoming event in my class during 6th period. Chad made up an easy equation for Maggie to solve that finished with H=C? then she found him out in the hallway with flowers. She said, “Yes,” and Chad was thrilled. It was fun to behold….there are other not-so-fun-to-witness homecoming rejections.

More questions….will you be a picky eater? Will you like Legos? When will you walk? Will I ever get really angry at you?  What will you do that makes me get so angry? What will your umbilical cord look like? Will we be nervous driving you home from the hospital? How well will you sleep the first night? How well will we sleep your first year?

We’ve been in a good habit of planning our weekly meals on the Sunday before the week begins. That way we at least have an idea of what we need to pick up at the store instead of spending energy deciding in the last minute. Last night I fixed shrimp and quinoa and tonight Mommy fixed salmon, rice and bok choy with a ginger sauce.

This weekend when Mommy and I were getting ready to take Clementine out for a walk, Mommy exclaimed that you protest when she puts on coats because you move a lot when she zips up her coat.

Happy Week 38 Lucky!

According to MyPregnancy.com, you have really, “plumped up.” You should weigh almost 7 pounds and are 19.5 inches long….the length of a leek (see picture)!

Your organs are fully cooked, along with your skin and bones. Mommy is feeling like you, the bun, are ready to come out of her, the oven. She is uncomfortable, sighing in pain when she gets up from sitting too long.

One evening this week, Mommy had turned out her bedside light and I was still reading. I heard a rustling and clinking of glass, then a crunching sound. I looked over and Mommy looked asleep, but her mouth was moving. I leaned over to kiss her goodnight and saw that she was crunching some Tums to calm her stomach. She needs to eat early in the evening to escape the heartburn, but it didn’t happen that evening.

Mommy just said, “Can I have the baby now?” She is ready. She is waiting, playing Boggle, and trying to rest and stay off her feet as much as possible. We were watching an episode of Justified this week and she exclaimed during a break, “It’s not fair…I have an outie belly button, kankles, and a sprained vah-jay-jay and you have none of these things.”

Dinner on Thursday night….lasagna, salad, and garlic bread.

Wednesday dinner at Aunt Lindas. Clementine and Emma are under the table.

Lucky, Your Great Grandma Nell Sterrenberg, who just turned 97 in August, is in poor health right now. She is in pain most of the time and this week she was in the hospital and now a nursing care facility. The prosthesis hip replacement bone and glue are loosening, causing her pain and inability to bear weight. She has been incoherent and barely wants to eat. My Mom (your Grandma Diann) has been caring as much as possible for her, but it is hard when there is not much to do for a 97 year old. Let’s wish her peace and hope that she can recover back to her own place or at least find peace where she is now. It is funny how she is 97 years older than you; she is in the sundown of her years and you haven’t even yet seen the sun. 

Here is Me and Grammy Nell dancing in Watseka. I had more hair and she had more spring in her step.

I love you, Lucky, and can’t wait to hold you, Daddy